


Short Release

by Alithea



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-10
Updated: 2005-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-02 05:26:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alithea/pseuds/Alithea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nanami can't find the will to go home, and seeks salvation in something wild.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Short Release

**Author's Note:**

> Poetry is mine.

She wasn't sure what it was. Maybe she still felt hurt by her brother. Maybe it was the betrayal she felt by her parents. No, not her parents. Her adoptive parents. Whoever her real parents were, they were dead or didn't care. All she knew was that she didn't want to go home. She didn't want to face anyone or anything. To top everything off the duels had ended and not a soul, save her brother and the rest of the student council, really remembered what had happened. Perhaps, there were a few, though a very small and select a group, who knew all the strange things that had been going on that year, but she doubted it.

No one talked about it. Not even her brother. And, maybe, that's what made her angry, and made her want to stay awake all night wandering the school grounds. How could he not talk about her? How could he act like nothing happened, ignore the implications of it? 

She tried too. Tried to forget that she had known anything about it, but she couldn't forget, couldn't forget and couldn't find anyone to help her clear it up inside her head. She was just confused by it all. And it was when she pondered the questions she realized she was no where near being an adult. She was just a highly popular and influential girl. That was all, and it made her feel ill. Whatever (one or all things) it was Nanami Kiryuu wasn't ready to understand it yet. And despite her best efforts, she didn't want to.

Guessing at the time she leaned against the wall of the music room, hoping that maybe Miki would be practicing. Someone was practicing, but it wasn't Miki. There was an innocence missing in the tone as each key was hit, not to mention the random miss placed finger that caused the melody to stray. She shut her eyes for half a moment, realizing it didn't matter who played just as long as she could hear a song and escape. Her thoughts drifted as the unseen pianist continued to play, and then her wandering mind was halted as a soft voice joined the piano.

"All I have is all I lose," the voice sang, "But I don't care it's what I choose…"

She managed to keep her curiosity at bay for a long while. Letting the words of the song infect her like a stray virus, or maybe it was a vaccine. It hardly mattered what the song was, only that it made her feel safe. It was odd, but the more the mysterious musician played the less mistakes were made, the more the soft voice eased into confidence. And just when she was sure the music was going to save her it stopped.

All I have is all I lose  
But I don't care it's what I choose  
It's what I let break  
It's everything I take  
And it goes  
It goes  
Spills from these hands  
Taken from where I stand  
I lose  
I lose  
But it's what I choose  
It's what I choose

"Isn't it cold out there," a recognizably cruel voice called from inside the music room.

"No," Nanami replied with some anger. Glancing over she caught sight of the mysterious pianist. She didn't want that girl to be the one who was playing. She didn't want that music to have come from someone like that. "I thought you didn't play."

"I don't," was the easy reply. She poked her head out of the window and smiled. It was so interesting the way the girl reacted to her, laughable really. "I just sort of mess around."

Nanami was ready to leave, but then she remembered the only other place to go was home. And she couldn't go there, not yet. Maybe not ever.

"Are you sure it isn't too cold out there," the soft voice broke in again, "Looks cold."

Why was she being so nice? It wasn't something Nanami could trust at all. Then a brief shiver ran through her. She bit at the anger she held inside herself.

"Why should you care if it's cold or not, Kozue," she asked bitterly.

"I don't care. I'm inside where it's warm." The cruel girl replied. "I was just wondering because... you know-"

"I'm fine! Leave me alone!"

Ocean blue eyes narrowed, there was no need to be rude, but then the Kiryuu's were all the same. All vain and selfish, plotting and manipulating anything they could, for whatever reason they could muster. She didn't know why she even bothered to ask. So she shrugged and tucked back into the music room, closing the window as she went, nimble fingers running through topaz hair as she took her seat at the piano, a slight smirk twisting onto her face as she played.

Time to go home  
Time to rest  
And little girl  
I know best

Kozue wasn't assuming anything, because she never did. It was how she avoided disappointment. But years of playing the cruel gave her an eye for those in need. She could tell when someone needed a reason to let go, or a reason to hold on, and whatever it was she knew she could offer it. She had mastered seduction like her brother had mastered the piano. She let a small giggled sigh leave her lips as she thought about the poor lost and lonely little girl outside. That cute, not pretty, young thing who was working at being just as cruel and manipulative as the student council president was. But it was all a lie, and Kozue knew it better than anyone else ever would. Touga was just another pawn in the game, another piece to be moved around the board. She knew that, and she knew it because she was just as much a pawn as he was. 

Everything may have changed, the not so secret game lying dead in the wake of the chairman's defeat. The campus was colder, the weather odder, and those around her were all striving for a change in their life. Her deep blue eyes caught the symptoms everywhere, even within herself. Like the chains around everyone's neck had been suddenly cut leaving uncertain slaves to decide what to do next. It was still too early yet to see who and what would change, but it was certain to happen.

She stopped playing as the door opened, a tiny shadow shrinking into the room, and then disappearing into the corner. She swallowed the wicked chuckle that was begging to be released. Her focus shifted into the dark little corner as she brought her fingers down onto the keyboard. She tickled the keys lightly and then resumed her playing.

After an endless sea of music a small voice finally broke in, still heavy with anger.

"It wasn't cold. I just wanted to-"

"Oh, no need to explain," Kozue shot in. "I understand."

The blonde jumped to her feet. "Don't say you understand! You don't! No one does! Don't think you ever will."

She sighed, all that anger. And then she laughed, "Fine then. I don't understand. But why are you here? If you don't mind my asking."

"I do mind."

"Ah…Okay."

She changed the song she was playing to something purposefully more dramatic.

"I…I don't need your help," the girl whispered.

"I never offered you help."

Kozue couldn't see the child, but she was sure the girl just stomped her foot.

"I…I-"

"You know, you don't have to be here," Kozue interrupted again, striking the keys with easy violence. "I really don't need the company either. Why don't you go cry to your big brother or something?"

The girl moved into the light a little more, deep rage clear on her young face.

"You have no right to talk to me like that. No one can talk to me like that. You- You-"

"I'll leav,e" Kozue cut the song she was playing mid note and stood up. She moved across the floor at an easy pace towards the door. "Have a pleasant evening. I'll let your brother know you're alright when I see him."

Not even a millisecond passed before the sound of an open palm striking skin was heard. It echoed in the room. The blonde who had administered the strike flushed with hate, light blue-gray eyes flickering with an odd fire. Delicate fingers ran over the slight sting, a wicked smirk neatly placed, and ocean blue eyes looking on in a cross of innocence and revenge.

"You really need to be careful, little girl," Kozue began. "Play rough with a wild animal and you'll most certainly get hurt."

"Shut up!"

The smirk inched a little broader, teeth showing through thin lips. "Why are you still so ready to decry anyone who goes near your brother?"

"Don't talk about him. You don't know him. He's different now."

"How would you know?" She caught the tiny hand before it struck her. Laughing as she reminded, "I told you earlier…If you want to play rough…you'll get hurt."

She spun the girl around; locking the captured hand behind the girl's back as she pushed her as hard as she could against the nearest wall.

"Now," she whispered closely. "I really hate to get into fights. Bruises are far from attractive, and I have a few dates tomorrow. So are you going to behave?"

"Let me go or I'll scream."

"I'm sure you would," a wicked voice slid into the seductive.

Nanami's tense muscles relaxed in confusion at the sudden change in tone, and then tensed again as a wandering hand moved down her thigh.

"Wh-what are you doing," still rage in a hushed voice.

The older girl huffed, a misplaced laugh, "Keeping you from doing anything stupid."

"Let me go, Kozue."

"Are you going to behave?"

Her heart was beginning to increase its rhythm, and her hatred was getting lost in other emotions she wasn't prepared for. So through gritted teeth she replied, "I'll behave. Now let me go."

The cruel girl's weight was lightly removed, elegant fingers releasing their hold on a petite wrist. She stepped back a pace just in case the youngster felt the need to lash out again, smiling as she greeted a sour face. She brushed back a few strands of blue hair, waiting for what was coming next.

"Don't you ever touch me like that again," Nanami commanded softly.

Kozue fought the easy response and just whispered, "Fine. Just remember to control your temper next time."

"I'm serious you know. You had no right"

"But you had a right to slap me," she questioned lightly. "You Kiryuu's are a strange breed indeed."

"Why do you insist-"

"I insist on nothing. You are the one who filled the entire evening with reasons. You know full well that I don't care about you or your brother. I was just here to play the piano."

She watched the girl's tiny hand ball into a fist and then it relaxed with uncertainty. All that rage, all the anger and hurt, Kozue knew it. She had used it to fuel the pain she inflicted upon her twin. She couldn't explain when that rage left her, but she knew it had. She didn't hurt Miki on purpose anymore. She hurt others instead. Somehow it had become more fulfilling that way. She briefly wondered what she wanted to do with the child, wondered if she could turn that deep and seething anger into something a little hotter but less violent. She quirked an eyebrow as she understood why all that rage had been brought to the surface.

"I'm sorry your dreams of salvation were shattered."

"What the hell are you talking about," Nanami huffed and went about straightening her mussed uniform.

"You wanted it to be Miki in here," Kouze said easily.

"So?"

"So, are you really that repulsed by me?"

"Yes."

The answer was too quick. Too easy, and blurted out because Nanami didn't want to think about why she was so angry. And she was angry. The older girl standing so close, she hated her. She was just one of the many that her brother had- Well, did it really matter what he did with them? She had been proved just as unimportant as all the others had. Being his sister meant nothing. Her gaze drifted to the floor. Why was she so angry? What was it she hated exactly? She couldn't describe it. Was it the lie of not being who she thought she was? Was it the leftover sting from the duels? Was it her want? What did she want? Suddenly the memory of Kozue's hand drifting down her thigh captured her. She shook her head. No, it wasn't right to want that. And, so, lost in her thoughts she didn't even notice that Kouze had gotten closer. Didn't realize she was crying, and didn't even realize what she was about to do.

"I-I hate you," she whispered, stumbling forward into waiting arms. "I hate all of you. It's not right…Not right. Why did it all change?"

"Why did what change"

The sound of her voice snapped Nanami back into reality. She pushed the older girl away from her. "Leave me alone. D-don't touch me. I'm not-"

"Shhh…" Kozue stepped over to the girl, pulled her close and just held her. "Hush, little girl, hush."

Nanami fought against the embrace as hard as she could. Fought it with every fiber of her being. In the end, though, she conceded. Her muscles retreated into comforting dead weight. She let the older girl have her.

"What changed, Nanami," Kozue asked again.

"I- She- Everything," the young girl was so defeated. "Nothing feels right anymore."

"Ah." She paused still considering her own motives. "How does this feel?"

Before an answer could be given her lips were pressed against the girl's. And she waited there for permission to take things further, or to be flung across the room. She never assumed anything. It was what she prided herself for. So when the blonde wordlessly answered her question, pink tongue sliding past her lips, begging to deepen the kiss, she accepted her luck for what it was, inwardly smiled as those once violent hands brushed through her hair, and delighted in the continued play as petite fingers began to tug at the buttons of her uniform. A wicked thought intruded on her as she let her own hands wander slowly up the girl's skirt, imagining the look on President Kiryuu's face should he chance to walk in. He had used her once to get to her brother, and while she knew what she was doing wasn't revenge she felt strangely more at ease with the cruelty of it. She was diverted suddenly by the desperate tearing at her blouse. One button didn't seem to want to budge. She gingerly aided in its disposal, smiling at the whimper removing her hand caused the girl to release.

"You've no patience," Kozue whispered as she brought the girl to the floor.

Nanami didn't even hear her. She was lost in the pull of it. Lost in the release she gained. Nothing was right. Nothing felt good anymore but this- This she could feel. She pulled the older girl to her savagely, and with inexperienced lips begged for more. She didn't even know when she had lost her top. She was too busy. Busy exploring the graceful hollows of a pale and slender neck. Busy letting her hands run along the unbearable softness of pert breasts, and nothing else mattered but her satisfaction, the reward of being claimed as well as claiming. After ages of desperate touching she found her self trapped under Kozue's deeply penetrating animalistic gaze. She suddenly felt like wounded prey that was about to be devoured.

"I can stop," Kozue whispered, her voice an untamed purr.

Nanami was fearfully unsure. All of the cruel girl's weight was pressing into her. The feel of sweat soaked skin against skin, breath upon breath, it all made her head spin. Made her ache in places she was never aware of, and the playful predator above her waited patiently for an answer, a single knee insinuating gently where a 'yes' would lead things. It hit her slightly that this was wrong. She shouldn't be doing this, with this girl, let alone any girl. She exhaled a slow ragged breath and it occurred to her that she didn't care. Didn't care if it was right, or wrong. She just wanted, craved the attention.

"Don't stop."

A wolfish grin appeared at the answer, the request, the clear command. A slow trail of kisses were lead down the captured girl's neck followed in short by what could only be described as grand attention to her entire chest. The seductress knew just where to linger, just where to place a kiss, or a subtle touch. The older girl worked her way further down, slyly and gracefully disposing of the all too short Ohtori uniform skirt, and the more precious undergarments beneath. Her lips nibbled along the inside of the girl's thigh, until she was happily teasing her tongue around the most sensitive of spots. Took almost too easily what she wanted, reveled in the silent scream the girl released as her body shuddered. And with a wicked chuckle she continued to take until that angry little girl in her arms was dizzy with all that had been done.

"Such pretty prey," Kozue cooed as she moved her slender fingers through the girl's sweat soaked shoulder length blonde hair. "I think I took too much of you."

Nanami fought for a response, but was still trying to catch her breath. Trying to put words to everything that had happened but she was too weary to even try. Her head spun and she barely had enough energy to heed the soft commands of Kozue to rise and dress, to follow her home to rest. And having no where else to go she went along.

The night wore on in the confines of a soft bed and it felt like a dream the memories were so languid. It had to be a dream.

And were it anything more  
Were it a song  
A breath  
A heart beat  
Would I know what to say?  
Would I know what to do?  
When I woke and found it was you  
It was all you

A slight tickle on her cheek brought her back into the waking world, a perfect hand gracing her face, soft as a rose petal. Her eyes opened and the plush comfort that surrounded her was a far cry from the hard cold feel of the music room that somehow remained only thing she could remember clearly. And the shocked look on her face must have been apparent because a soft and cruel voice whispered close to her ear.

"I wasn't about to let us freeze in the music room. Just be thankful you had enough sense to follow me home."

"Where?"

"My room, don't worry no one will find you here." Kozue graced the uncertain girl with a light kiss, nearly offended when she shied away. "Going to regret everything now that it's over?"

"No. Yes. I'm not sure. I don't know wh-"

"Shhh…Hush, little girl." She wrapped her arms around the girl's waist, held her close and remarked, "I'll wake you in the morning."

And in the end  
When you settle to sleep  
It's into your dreams  
I'll creep  
And after you wake  
And see me near  
After your senses lose track of fear  
You'll always want me close  
Won't be able to stay away  
And for forever  
You'll be my prey

End.


End file.
